Moslem Koran, Prayer Rug, Explosive Device, & Goat Found Near Illegal Immigrant Crossing

Border Patrol were tipped off early Monday morning about a possible immigrant crossing by jihadists, after the Three Percenter United Patriots of America (PUPEA) militia found them during an investigative audit of security near the border fence.

They found a Koran, a Moslem Prayer rug, explosive candles, and a goat, among other things.

The goat was checked internally for drugs by Border Patrol, but the search did not result in any narcotics.

Forensic analysts at ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement) later found evidence that the goat had sustained injuries from sexual assault.

Brietbart criminologists Susan Harding and Ivan Tillman have theorized that the radical jihadists brought along child wives with them, but they did not survive the long journey from Azerbaijan to Northern Mexico, so the immigrant radical jihadists turned to their livestock for intimate pleasure.

The Moslem immigrant radical jihadists were no doubt headed for Houston, an enclave of  economic growth which has been deemed, “The City With No Limits” by some architects.

On Staff Brietbart fact checkers were quick to point out that the city does, in fact, have city limits, and that the architects in question had not even finished a degree in their field.

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Header image credit: Hillebrand Steve



  2. What’s really going on. There hanging out on the border eating sleeping and doing it with goats? WTF well I’m not familiar with the 3% that found this but I’m sure grateful that they did. Do we need a Militia on the border? Government can’t handle it. I’m thinking, YES WE NEED A MILITIA ON THE BORDER! Just saying.

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